I am a member of a group on babycenter for women who had twins in May 2011, and one of them posted a link to a website that was selling shirts and bags with common, usually annoying questions or statements people ask/say about fraternal twins. I think it is pretty funny. Here is a picture:
I can relate to all these answers. While these questions/comments can get really old and sometimes irritating (like #5, yes someone, a stranger, has actually said "I'm glad it's you and not me"), but I know a lot of other people have questions and curiosities about life with twins and I don't mind answering them. So, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. However, I figured I would answer the most common questions I get which are "How are you sleeping these days?" "What are your nights like?" "How do you get them both to sleep?" And the answer to the first question is yes, I actually am sleeping pretty well and have been from the beginning. The twins did the normal waking up every 2-4 hours for the first couple weeks, but pretty quickly Kathryn went to sleeping through the night, while Elijah would wake once or twice a night. Not too bad. Recently as they have gotten older they have begun more night waking, but it is still usually 1-2 times a night and Kathryn still on occasion sleeps through the night. I honestly don't mind the waking up through the night since it is only 1-2 times a night.
As for the other questions, the evenings and getting the twins to sleep have been a struggle. I would rock and sing and pat, and cuddle, swaddle and perform every trick in the book, but after 30 minutes of this, times two, I would lay them down, only for them to wake back up and have to repeat the process. I struggled with this for a really long time. It began to become impossible to get anything done because my evenings were spent trying to get the twins to sleep, and then maybe getting a load of laundry folded before going to bed. Well, I finally bit the bullet and decided to sleep train the twins. I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as well as "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins" by Dr. Weissbluth, and used the graduated extinction method, also known as the Ferber method after Dr. Richard Ferber. If you aren't familiar with this method what you do is put the babies down awake. Tell them you love them kiss them, then leave their room. When they start to cry you wait five minutes, then go back in and comfort them with a pat, a kiss, then leave again. This time you increase your waiting time to ten minutes before going back in. You keep doing this, increasing your in between time by five minutes until they go to sleep. Well the beginning was a little rough. What mother wants to listen to her babies screaming and not go to them? I felt guilty and like a horrible mother, but I kept telling myself that what I had been doing wasn't working and what I was trying to do was what was best for them. I was determined to follow through with this method. Now, after about a week and a half I am able to feed the twins, bathe them, read them a book then lay the twins down in their cribs and most nights they go right to sleep! On occasion they may fuss for a couple minutes, but then they go to sleep. I hope in the future the night waking will diminish and I won't have any fragmented sleep, but for me, being able to get the twins to sleep without any crying, thus having a few hours every night to myself, feels like a huge victory!
Look at those sweet angels sleeping! ZZZZZZZZ
Thanks for posting about this! Can I ask when you started the sleep training - how many weeks or months? Charlotte often does the asleep-for-30-minutes-then-wakes-back-up-again routine. I think it suggests 4 months in the "Healthy Sleep Habits..." book, but some people start earlier, others later. LOVE their little sleepy heads!! :o)
ReplyDeleteJessy, you are the 3rd or 4th person I know that has successfully sleep trained their babies. I need to try this so bad b/c Marlie is STILL sleeping in our bed. I just need to be strong. I have tried so many times but ending up feeling just like you said (guilty/horrible mother) & crack under 5 minutes. I know it can be done- I just need to DO it! Any advice?
ReplyDeleteBri~ I tried several times, but felt guilty because they were so young. Since they were almost 6 months old, I decided they were old enough to understand that I loved them, even if I was doing this to them. So for me, I waited until they were close to 6 months before cracking the whip lol.
ReplyDeleteKylie, just keep reminding yourself that it is the best thing for her. I know it is so hard, I definitely tried several times and then the next night wouldn't do it because I felt so guilty. Bad thing is that only makes it worse because they figure you out and know you will come for them, so then the next time you do it they cry longer and harder. The book I listed recommends doing it and leaving the house and letting dad do it. I didn't do that because I wanted to be there, but I just kept reminding myself, they NEED to sleep, and I NEED a break, and this was the only way it was gonna happen. I had to get tough lol. I hope it will work for you if you try it, my advice though is be consistent if you decide to do it and keep at it, don't stop. They cried for a week and a half, but it got less and less each time until they just started going to sleep. Good luck!