In my last post I told you Adam was on his way to swear in to the army and that he would not be going to boot camp until February. My how things change, and quickly! Adam is due to go to boot camp on September 18th, eeek!!! So in the past few weeks we have had to make some major decisions. One being where we would go after his boot camp and training. The army provided us with four options, two in Alabama, one in Georgia, and the last in Korea. I immediately said no to Korea as I have no desire to go overseas and be so far away from my family and support system. If you know me well you know how close I am to my family and would hate being an ocean apart. My first choice was actually Georgia because it just so happens I already have family there. However, Adam told me the Korea option was only for a one year stint and had a few benefits to it, the catch however was because it was only a one year assignment, the army prefers the rest of the family not go. I guess it would be pretty costly to move us all there for a only a year. So if we chose this option I would stay behind in Champaign while Adam moved to Korea for a year. Not an ideal situation. But we thought about it and weighed the pros and cons and came to the decision that Adam would go ahead and accept the assignment in Korea. After making this decision Adam and I discussed how this would affect the twins and I, and what changes we needed to make in order to make this process a little easier. So after a lot of thought I decided it would be best for me to quit my job at the University of Illinois Early Child Development Lab. This came as a really tough decision as I truly enjoyed working there and caring for the children and bonding with them. I became so close to some of them and their families, that it has been and will be tough not to see them anymore. However, with Adam being gone we decided I needed to be with the twins full time. Fortunately for me, my mother is a licensed day care provider, who presently watches the twins, and it just so happens that she has received numerous phone calls from families looking for childcare recently. In order to take on these other families, she wanted to have a full time assistant, so after I end my time at the ECDL, I will be going to work with my mom. It feels like an all around great decision because I will be able to be with the twins full time while Adam is gone while also working, basically the same job I was doing at ECDL. Working with my mother however, will allow me more flexibility and hopefully take some of the stress off parenting alone for a year and a half.
I hate that Adam and I will be apart for a year and a half. It sucks. Plan and simple. However, I really think this was and is the best decision for us. We plan to skype A LOT, so the twins will get to see daddy regularly as will mommy. Adam will get 30 days of vacation a year, so we will be able to see him a couple of times during his time there. When he gets back we will move, as a family, to his next assignment, which we will hopefully find out in the next few months so that we have a longer period of time to prepare for than this.
As always I will continue to keep you posted on how things are going for us. I know this blog is meant to be about the twins, but I had to post these important updates about Adam so a lot of family and friends can keep up to date on our latest news. I do have so many updates to post about the twins, and will definitely be trying to do a better job of keeping up this blog, since it will be another way for Adam to keep up to date on all things twins while he is away. The next few weeks will be crazy though as we finalize so many things here to prepare for Adam leaving, but if I don't get to the updates before then, I will definitely get to them after.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Beginning a new chapter
Well tomorrow my husband leaves me and will return on Friday. He is going to take the first step toward beginning a new chapter in our lives. It is scary and exciting, and scary, but anything outside our comfort zone is scary. So you are wondering what this new chapter is right?
My hubby has dedicated so much of his time and effort to school. He is a dissertation away from becoming Dr. Adam Walton, and I couldn't be more proud of him. I have never met anyone who works as hard and is as dedicated as he is to school and music. Adam has always said he wanted to teach at the collegiate level as a professor of percussion, but he made no secret of the fact that finding that type of job would not be easy. I think I was a little more optomistic. However, the past couple years I have seen just how difficult it is to find faculty openings in percussion and just how competitive those few jobs floating around can be. However, Adam has also had a back up plan, which is good right? And that back up plan was the army. Yep, you read that right, Adam's back up plan was applying for a position with an army band. Of course percussion openings in the army band are also competitive. However, after going through a thorough physical and various testing, as well as an audition, Adam was one of two individuals chosen out of a large group to be offered a position with an army band. So tomorrow morning my husband will travel to Indianapolis, where he will enlist in the army and swear in.
I know Adam's "plan A" was to be a professor at a college, teaching percussion, which really would have suited him well. He is an amazing teacher not only in the way he deals with his students, but also in the quality of the instruction he provides. However, despite being an amazing teacher, I have always felt that teaching, while somthing Adam excels at, it isn't really where his passion lies. His passion I think, lies in playing, he is afterall, a musician. So I really think this "plan B" is in reality going to be a great opportunity for Adam.
At this point it doesn't look like Adam will be going to boot camp until February, so we definitely have time to adjust to the idea of this new journey we will be embarking on. And, I know I always say this, but I will try and keep you posted on how things are going for him, us, and the twins. As you can imagine life with two walking babies is very, very busy, so forgive me if I don't write updates as often as I should.
My hubby has dedicated so much of his time and effort to school. He is a dissertation away from becoming Dr. Adam Walton, and I couldn't be more proud of him. I have never met anyone who works as hard and is as dedicated as he is to school and music. Adam has always said he wanted to teach at the collegiate level as a professor of percussion, but he made no secret of the fact that finding that type of job would not be easy. I think I was a little more optomistic. However, the past couple years I have seen just how difficult it is to find faculty openings in percussion and just how competitive those few jobs floating around can be. However, Adam has also had a back up plan, which is good right? And that back up plan was the army. Yep, you read that right, Adam's back up plan was applying for a position with an army band. Of course percussion openings in the army band are also competitive. However, after going through a thorough physical and various testing, as well as an audition, Adam was one of two individuals chosen out of a large group to be offered a position with an army band. So tomorrow morning my husband will travel to Indianapolis, where he will enlist in the army and swear in.
I know Adam's "plan A" was to be a professor at a college, teaching percussion, which really would have suited him well. He is an amazing teacher not only in the way he deals with his students, but also in the quality of the instruction he provides. However, despite being an amazing teacher, I have always felt that teaching, while somthing Adam excels at, it isn't really where his passion lies. His passion I think, lies in playing, he is afterall, a musician. So I really think this "plan B" is in reality going to be a great opportunity for Adam.
At this point it doesn't look like Adam will be going to boot camp until February, so we definitely have time to adjust to the idea of this new journey we will be embarking on. And, I know I always say this, but I will try and keep you posted on how things are going for him, us, and the twins. As you can imagine life with two walking babies is very, very busy, so forgive me if I don't write updates as often as I should.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
These feet are made for walking....
The twins sure have been busy these days and I have so much to update everyone on, but as usual it is very hard to find the time. I sit here now, having just laid the twins down for a nap, listening to them babble and whine and play in their cribs. I will have to probably go back in there in a few minutes and lay them back down, but I just had to share these videos. Be warned, I have several of them.
On March 24th Elijah took his first steps! I was super excited and have been attempting to get some really good shots of him walking on the video camera for a while now, but it has been a struggle. I do have a couple clips, but I want to try and get a really good one soon because he is walking across rooms now without falling! He can take 8-9 or more steps at a time without falling. He is still a little wobbly at times, but doing really well! I give him one more week to fine tune the art of walking and then he will be walking everywhere. This makes me happy because I was determined that the twins would be walking by 1 year old, which is in four weeks, so they definitely fulfilled my hopes as I am sure they will both be walking pros by May 9th.
Ok just took a break to lay the twins back down. Let's continue.
On April 4th Kathryn took her first steps and now she wants to walk everywhere! She will be standing by the couch and will just turn and start trying to walk, even if nobody is there. This makes it extremely difficult for me as I have to be sure I am right beside her in case she takes off as she takes off with a running start and could very well end up cracking her head on the furniture if we aren't right beside her. Today she has begun to take some slower steps, so I think she is realizing she needs to slow it down a bit. She has taken 4-5 slow steps without falling, so she is gaining balance. So below are several videos that show the progression of their walking, starting with a video of them standing independently. I don't think I have a video of any of Kathryn's slow steps, but I will try and get that soon. Most of the videos are of Elijah since he has been walking the longest, but there is one or two of Kathryn. I will try to get a much better video of them walking as these videos don't do their skills justice, but that's how it goes, as soon as you get the video camera out they don't perform the way you want them too. Oh well I am sure I will have much more to show very soon. I hope you enjoy the videos while I enjoy the peace and quiet of my now sleeping babies!
On March 24th Elijah took his first steps! I was super excited and have been attempting to get some really good shots of him walking on the video camera for a while now, but it has been a struggle. I do have a couple clips, but I want to try and get a really good one soon because he is walking across rooms now without falling! He can take 8-9 or more steps at a time without falling. He is still a little wobbly at times, but doing really well! I give him one more week to fine tune the art of walking and then he will be walking everywhere. This makes me happy because I was determined that the twins would be walking by 1 year old, which is in four weeks, so they definitely fulfilled my hopes as I am sure they will both be walking pros by May 9th.
Ok just took a break to lay the twins back down. Let's continue.
On April 4th Kathryn took her first steps and now she wants to walk everywhere! She will be standing by the couch and will just turn and start trying to walk, even if nobody is there. This makes it extremely difficult for me as I have to be sure I am right beside her in case she takes off as she takes off with a running start and could very well end up cracking her head on the furniture if we aren't right beside her. Today she has begun to take some slower steps, so I think she is realizing she needs to slow it down a bit. She has taken 4-5 slow steps without falling, so she is gaining balance. So below are several videos that show the progression of their walking, starting with a video of them standing independently. I don't think I have a video of any of Kathryn's slow steps, but I will try and get that soon. Most of the videos are of Elijah since he has been walking the longest, but there is one or two of Kathryn. I will try to get a much better video of them walking as these videos don't do their skills justice, but that's how it goes, as soon as you get the video camera out they don't perform the way you want them too. Oh well I am sure I will have much more to show very soon. I hope you enjoy the videos while I enjoy the peace and quiet of my now sleeping babies!
The Twins Standing
Attempting to catch Elijah walking
Elijah and Kathryn walking
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Musician in the making...
As most of you know Adam is a musician. He is finishing up his DMA (Doctorate of Musical Arts) at the U of I. His instrument isn't just one instrument, but rather multiple instruments as he is a percussionist. So it is only natural that our children will hopefully have a great deal of interest in music.
One day last month Adam took Kathryn into his studio and let her play on some of the instruments. First she played one of his drumsets with her hands, banging n the drums and cymbals. Then we let her try it with the drumsticks, which turned out to be a little dangerous as she almost hit daddy in the face with it! She checked out the marimba, but only wanted to touch the bars with her hands, which daddy didn't really want her to do (something with the oil on our hands and the wood...who knows lol.) So when she gets a little older we will have to revisit the marimba. After that she checked out the congas and banged on them. Elijah was asleep during this, but mommy will be sure to get his reaction to daddy's instruments on video soon, but for now, here is Kathryn.
Although Kathryn seemed to enjoy banging on the instruments, and enjoys playing with the twins toy drum and toy piano...
as well as the shakers daddy gave them...
I have to say I honestly don't think the twins are that interested in music at this time. They love when mommy sings to them, some favorites are "The Little Green Frog", "The Balloon Song", and "Baby Bumblebee", however when it comes to their favorite toys, right now it seems to be books. They love to pull all their books out and make a huge mess. They love to read their "Peek-a-boo" books and I can read them several times over and hold their attention. I do hope they will eventually develop a love for music, and in particular percussion (although daddy would rather see them pursue something else), but I definitely love the fact that they seem to enjoy books so much and hope they will grow up to love reading just like mommy!
One day last month Adam took Kathryn into his studio and let her play on some of the instruments. First she played one of his drumsets with her hands, banging n the drums and cymbals. Then we let her try it with the drumsticks, which turned out to be a little dangerous as she almost hit daddy in the face with it! She checked out the marimba, but only wanted to touch the bars with her hands, which daddy didn't really want her to do (something with the oil on our hands and the wood...who knows lol.) So when she gets a little older we will have to revisit the marimba. After that she checked out the congas and banged on them. Elijah was asleep during this, but mommy will be sure to get his reaction to daddy's instruments on video soon, but for now, here is Kathryn.
Although Kathryn seemed to enjoy banging on the instruments, and enjoys playing with the twins toy drum and toy piano...
as well as the shakers daddy gave them...
I have to say I honestly don't think the twins are that interested in music at this time. They love when mommy sings to them, some favorites are "The Little Green Frog", "The Balloon Song", and "Baby Bumblebee", however when it comes to their favorite toys, right now it seems to be books. They love to pull all their books out and make a huge mess. They love to read their "Peek-a-boo" books and I can read them several times over and hold their attention. I do hope they will eventually develop a love for music, and in particular percussion (although daddy would rather see them pursue something else), but I definitely love the fact that they seem to enjoy books so much and hope they will grow up to love reading just like mommy!
Fun with jello!
Boy has it been hard to find time to post on here. I have so much to share, but finding the time is so difficult. The twins have been busy little bees lately and if I am not playing with them or chasing them, then I am cleaning up after them. Although I have so many updates on their development I have been meaning to post their latest sensory activity for a few days, but it has been put on the back burner for a little while. So I'll post on their development HOPEFULLY in the next few days, but I just had to share this video first. I got the idea from someone at work and just knew I had to do it with the twins. So I made some peach jello one evening, and the next morning after breakfast I took the jello and scooped it out onto my big cake pan and let them explore it. Boy was it a hoot! The twins LOVED it! Elijah was ready to climb into the pan, he just thought squishing the jello was so much fun! Kathryn on the other hand just wanted to sit and eat the jello, much like she did with the snow. The twins were quite a mess afterward but it was worth the clean up to watch them play in the jello. Afterward I stripped them down to their diapers, as their jammies were covered in jello, and then put them in clean clothes. The mess wasn't too awful as I laid towels down, so I simply scooped up the towels and threw them in the washer with their clothes. I have a fun idea planned for next weekend, so hopefully I can get it posted much faster than this one took me. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I enjoyed watching them!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
So many updates!
Well I haven't been posting for a while because my computer has been on the fritz, but I finally just got it back and boy do I have so many updates! I'll start with the twins most recent developmental milestones, but keep an eye out for more posts in the next few days. It's gonna take some ime for me to catch up!
Both Kathryn and Elijah are now crawling and have been for sometime. Kathryn as you probably remember from a previous post has been crawling, but Elijah hadn't quite gotten the hang of it. Well a week or so after that post he stopped rolling so much and finally began army crawling everywhere. After he got the hang of that he began crawling on his hands and knees. Now I have two mobile babies that love to explore everything! I ended up purchasing and enclosed play yard just so I could contain them in one place at times when I am alone and need to do somethings. While the twins enjoyed the play yard at first, they have quickly come to realize its purpose, and now it doesn't have the same appeal. Oh-well, it still serves its purpose.
As soon as the twins began crawling, seemed like they began pulling up on everything! Although they were pulling up on everything, it still appeared I was safe from them pulling up in their cribs. That didn't last long though! On February 9th I picked the twins up from my mom's to go to the doctor for their 9 month appointment and when we got home I put Kathryn in her crib to take a nap (she fell asleep in the car). Shortly after I heard some fussing, so I went into her bedroom to get her, and this is what I found!
Two days later I laid the twins down for a nap before going out of town to visit some family up north, and when they woke up, this was what I found!
Now, seemed like as soon as the twins started pulling up, they started cruising, walking while holding on to surfaces. And now I am happy to report they have begun standing without support. Today I even saw Elijah walk while holding onto a surface with one hand. My mom is betting they will be walking by the end of March, so I will keep you posted!
Both Kathryn and Elijah are now crawling and have been for sometime. Kathryn as you probably remember from a previous post has been crawling, but Elijah hadn't quite gotten the hang of it. Well a week or so after that post he stopped rolling so much and finally began army crawling everywhere. After he got the hang of that he began crawling on his hands and knees. Now I have two mobile babies that love to explore everything! I ended up purchasing and enclosed play yard just so I could contain them in one place at times when I am alone and need to do somethings. While the twins enjoyed the play yard at first, they have quickly come to realize its purpose, and now it doesn't have the same appeal. Oh-well, it still serves its purpose.
As soon as the twins began crawling, seemed like they began pulling up on everything! Although they were pulling up on everything, it still appeared I was safe from them pulling up in their cribs. That didn't last long though! On February 9th I picked the twins up from my mom's to go to the doctor for their 9 month appointment and when we got home I put Kathryn in her crib to take a nap (she fell asleep in the car). Shortly after I heard some fussing, so I went into her bedroom to get her, and this is what I found!
Two days later I laid the twins down for a nap before going out of town to visit some family up north, and when they woke up, this was what I found!
Now, seemed like as soon as the twins started pulling up, they started cruising, walking while holding on to surfaces. And now I am happy to report they have begun standing without support. Today I even saw Elijah walk while holding onto a surface with one hand. My mom is betting they will be walking by the end of March, so I will keep you posted!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Letting Go
Boy have the last five days been pretty crazy in our house. On Sunday it looked like a tornado had blown through our house! Elijah unfortunately came down with a stomach bug. He started in on Thursday night, blowing out his diapers and it got worse from there. He went through all is pajamas at one point and had to wear some of his sisters until I could get him a clean pair. I had laundry piling up as I was trying to get the soiled clothes clean, our bed sheets clean that he soiled TWICE, his sheets, blankets, his exer saucer seat etc. There were several days that poor Elijah had to have three baths because the mess was just that bad. I couldn't get dishes done or laundry because it seemed I was constantly interrupted by that familiar smell that told me I had better rush him to the changing table and fast! Not to mention in case you forgot I have two babies, so in the midst of all this chaos, I was also trying to tend to her needs. Well things are starting to look up some. Little man still has an upset tummy, but they aren't coming as frequently as they were, so I am hoping that means he is on the mend. This post however isn't meant to be about Elijah being sick, but rather about what I realized during these last five days.
I hate when my children are sick, I feel helpless and I worry, far more than I know I need to. But during Elijah's bout with this virus I realized there is something in my life that is making me crazy, and it's time to let it go. The something I am talking about is guilt.
It is like this person constantly hanging around in the background, telling you how inadequate you are, how you aren't doing enough or are doing too much. Comparing you to every other woman you know who has children, and works, and makes dinner, and keeps a clean house. Telling you that you are an awful, selfish parent the moment your mind wanders to something other than your children, or when you lose your patience with a crying baby at 2 in the morning and just let them cry it out so you can catch up on the sleep you have been deprived of for the last 9 months.
I can't say I am the only woman to ever feel this way, I know I am not alone, but nobody ever really tells you about this unwelcome guest, this guilt, that arrives the moment you get pregnant, or maybe even before you get pregnant, then multiplies times one hundred as soon as the baby, or in my case babies are born. And because nobody ever tells you about it, you are unprepared for its arrival and after a while you may begin to beat yourself up over all the guilt. I know I have.
So you may wonder what Elijah being sick has to do with this realization. Since Elijah has been sick all I have wanted to do is take care of him. As a little girl I can remember my mom always making me feel better when I was sick, I always felt during those times that I was her main priority, nothing else mattered at that time other than getting me well again. But these past few days I have felt so guilty because while I have been doing everything I can to keep Elijah in clean clothes and comfortable, I can't always keep my mind on him. I have had a million other worries going through my head. "The house is a mess, the laundry needs done, dishes are piling up, I didn't clean up after lunch, Kathryn hasn't had a bath but Elijah has had five in the past two days, is Kathryn feeling neglected since Elijah has had most of my attention, what is work going to say when I call in, could I lose my job, etc, etc, etc." But wait, the guilt doesn't end there. I sent Kathryn to daycare today so I could focus on Elijah, but then I feel guilty for not being strong enough to care for them both. I find myself looking forward to Elijah's nap time so I can have a break from him since he is so clingy and whiny (poor baby), and then feeling resentful when the nap wasn't as long as I had hoped. But then I feel guilty for feeling that way because shouldn't I want to be snuggling my poor sick child? Shouldn't I be enjoying spending this time with him and not being at work? But how can I when the house is a mess and I can't keep up with laundry and dishes and dinner needs to be started, aaaahhhhhh!!!!!!
The guilt can be overwhelming, and that is just in the last five days. For the past nine months I have felt guilty over everything from opting to be induced at 38 weeks (something I said I wouldn't do) which may have played a factor in me ending up with a c-sect (couldn't I have waited two more weeks?), to choosing to supplement with formula because it was too hard (and maybe I was a little lazy and selfish) to try and keep up a breast milk supply for two babies to exclusively breastfeed. Guilt over working full time when I would rather be with my babies, guilt picking them up for daycare five days a week and then only having enough time to feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed. Then having them all to myself on the weekends and still unable to push away those nagging thoughts about housework needing to be done.
I had an idea of the type of mother I would be, but I am quickly learning that person doesn't exist. She was an illusion, a fairytale, a dream. One that has to be let go of, not only for me and my sanity, but for my children as well. I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not superwoman and that's ok because I don't need to be. In my children's eyes I am and will always be "supermom" and that's enough for me. So from this moment on I won't bury the guilt, because things that are buried have a way of rising to the surface again. Instead I will accept that it is a part of being a parent that will always be there, but I will learn to just let it go. I am not saying it will be easy, bad habits are hard to break. But the next time I am feeling overwhelmed because the dishes are piling up and the laundry has become a mountain, instead of worrying about the chores that need to be done I will take my children's hands in mine and create lasting memories because in those precious eyes, I am supermom.
I hate when my children are sick, I feel helpless and I worry, far more than I know I need to. But during Elijah's bout with this virus I realized there is something in my life that is making me crazy, and it's time to let it go. The something I am talking about is guilt.
It is like this person constantly hanging around in the background, telling you how inadequate you are, how you aren't doing enough or are doing too much. Comparing you to every other woman you know who has children, and works, and makes dinner, and keeps a clean house. Telling you that you are an awful, selfish parent the moment your mind wanders to something other than your children, or when you lose your patience with a crying baby at 2 in the morning and just let them cry it out so you can catch up on the sleep you have been deprived of for the last 9 months.
I can't say I am the only woman to ever feel this way, I know I am not alone, but nobody ever really tells you about this unwelcome guest, this guilt, that arrives the moment you get pregnant, or maybe even before you get pregnant, then multiplies times one hundred as soon as the baby, or in my case babies are born. And because nobody ever tells you about it, you are unprepared for its arrival and after a while you may begin to beat yourself up over all the guilt. I know I have.
So you may wonder what Elijah being sick has to do with this realization. Since Elijah has been sick all I have wanted to do is take care of him. As a little girl I can remember my mom always making me feel better when I was sick, I always felt during those times that I was her main priority, nothing else mattered at that time other than getting me well again. But these past few days I have felt so guilty because while I have been doing everything I can to keep Elijah in clean clothes and comfortable, I can't always keep my mind on him. I have had a million other worries going through my head. "The house is a mess, the laundry needs done, dishes are piling up, I didn't clean up after lunch, Kathryn hasn't had a bath but Elijah has had five in the past two days, is Kathryn feeling neglected since Elijah has had most of my attention, what is work going to say when I call in, could I lose my job, etc, etc, etc." But wait, the guilt doesn't end there. I sent Kathryn to daycare today so I could focus on Elijah, but then I feel guilty for not being strong enough to care for them both. I find myself looking forward to Elijah's nap time so I can have a break from him since he is so clingy and whiny (poor baby), and then feeling resentful when the nap wasn't as long as I had hoped. But then I feel guilty for feeling that way because shouldn't I want to be snuggling my poor sick child? Shouldn't I be enjoying spending this time with him and not being at work? But how can I when the house is a mess and I can't keep up with laundry and dishes and dinner needs to be started, aaaahhhhhh!!!!!!
The guilt can be overwhelming, and that is just in the last five days. For the past nine months I have felt guilty over everything from opting to be induced at 38 weeks (something I said I wouldn't do) which may have played a factor in me ending up with a c-sect (couldn't I have waited two more weeks?), to choosing to supplement with formula because it was too hard (and maybe I was a little lazy and selfish) to try and keep up a breast milk supply for two babies to exclusively breastfeed. Guilt over working full time when I would rather be with my babies, guilt picking them up for daycare five days a week and then only having enough time to feed them, bathe them, and put them to bed. Then having them all to myself on the weekends and still unable to push away those nagging thoughts about housework needing to be done.
I had an idea of the type of mother I would be, but I am quickly learning that person doesn't exist. She was an illusion, a fairytale, a dream. One that has to be let go of, not only for me and my sanity, but for my children as well. I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm not superwoman and that's ok because I don't need to be. In my children's eyes I am and will always be "supermom" and that's enough for me. So from this moment on I won't bury the guilt, because things that are buried have a way of rising to the surface again. Instead I will accept that it is a part of being a parent that will always be there, but I will learn to just let it go. I am not saying it will be easy, bad habits are hard to break. But the next time I am feeling overwhelmed because the dishes are piling up and the laundry has become a mountain, instead of worrying about the chores that need to be done I will take my children's hands in mine and create lasting memories because in those precious eyes, I am supermom.
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